A Terrific Four!

We celebrated the Little Boy’s 4th Birthday last Saturday. He appeared to be so timid when his cousins gathered around to sing him birthday songs (one in English and the other in Mandarin). Looking at his luminous face by the candle lights, the moment seemed to be so unreal to me! Unbelievable that my son had turned four- from a very-innocent-baby to a boy-who-knows-everything (he says so)!

Always, I will find myself staring in admiration at him, agree with him on his logical argument which to some parents it may seem some sort of disobedience and disrespectfulness. At times he always strikes me with the questions like these, “Why must you order me to do lots of things?”, “How many times you must boss me around?” I am stunned with the words “ORDER” and “BOSS ME AROUND”! He put me into deep thinking when he once choking back his tears and said, “I’m tired of listening to you! You know!” My son, at the age of four is questioning my way of parenting! The world doesn’t seem to be in his control! He can’t comprehend the way how the world works just like anyone of us may have had such doubts at some point in our lives. I need to reflect on my way of parenting, which he starts feeling uneasy with.

By the way, he is four now, a sensitive yet a terrific four. He needs his voice to be heard and his feelings to be respected; there is no doubt about that!

You are turning 4

You don’t like being controlled over things you do, who does?
Whenever you feel our authorities are too intimidating,
you will be so furious and you would say,
“I wish I can be a boss when I grow up!”
It seems like
you just can’t wait to grow up to claim the independency!

Once, you said,
“I can’t wait to grow up,”
and asked “What time I’ll grow up?”

What time? Dear...

In future! You just need to be patient!

It's She in the womb!

At 22 week, I have gained a weight of 6 kg from my pregnancy. It is 52kg in total now.

Though the baby has been ‘tickling’ in my belly since week 16, I haven’t felt any furious kick from her! Yes, it’s ‘she’ I mentioned. We dared not confirm the baby’s gender until today after we have gone through the detailed scan.

I must confess that for the early stage of the pregnancy, the feeling of bonding towards the baby wasn’t as strong as I had with the Little Boy. I doubted if I would love the baby as much as we love the Little Boy. I don’t know if any second time mother would feel the same? Is it second time that makes us feel not-so-fussy (concern) after all?

But today I find the answer that the previous feeling isn’t true! I had been so nervous before the scan started. I prayed for a healthy baby than anything else. I was touched to see the baby on the screen. She is a gentle little baby girl curving in the womb peacefully, unlike her brother who was caught making a wee during the scan! I talked all the way home that I would buy lots of pinky flowery stuffs for her, dress her up at least like an elegant little girl (if she couldn’t be a princess), educate her to be a well mannered lady...

Okay, I’m so excited!

The consequence of teaching your child opposite words!

Do you teach your children opposite words?

The opposite of Clean is Dirty
The opposite of Up is Down
The opposite of Old is Young
The opposite of Hot is Cold

I have never ever made an effort to teach the little boy on this topic as I know he has had a good grasp of the concept.

Yesterday when I was upset with the Little Boy and asked him not to give me any empty promises again, he looked so sorry and said feebly...,

“Okay mummy! I promise I will give you FULL PROMISES!”

^ . ^

Langkawi Trip- 7 June- 9 June 2009

It is hard to pull myself back to reality after the trip. How could the trip have come to the end just a blink of eyes? I think I am still in the mood, in the holiday mood.

Before our plane landed on this island, the haze in Klg had been almost stifling in my imagination. But in this peace of tiny land, the sky was so blue!
It has been the most relaxing holiday ever since the Little Boy started participating in our vacations. Looking at him bathing his face in sun at the beach with his broad smile, I thought life was supposed to be like this.
The children need not to be taught how to delight in simple things, they just know it instinctively!

“Mummy I got stomachache”

I know this is much backdated, which happened two weeks before the last school vacation. The little boy puked and he nearly got dehydrated as he didn’t take any water or food after he set off to school in that morning. As you would have guessed he was admitted to hospital. He was diagnosed to contract a viral infection at last. He was unexpectedly so brave! He needed to be put on drips and surprisingly he was being poked and jabbed without flinching! I was so proud that he could act calmly and bravely like an adult man...but we didn’t know that it was just the start of a series of worries to us!

After he had been discharged, he got a phobia about having had to go toilet for big business! Whenever there was an urge to go for bowel movement, it would be mistaken by him as a sign of stomachache. He would be so worried and would ask if his poo poo would come out. The worst was he would wonder if the milk would bring back the pain every time he was asked to take his milk and he would refuse to drink! Even a-bit-bloated tummy would bother him a lot! He seemed like he couldn’t tell whether he was being full or having stomach ache since then!

We took him back to the hospital and consulted his pediatrician. The doctor said, “Ignore him! He might just want the attention” So, instead of getting worried by his complaints, we started to ignore him!

One day, he was so furious that I didn’t take him seriously again when he said he got stomachache! He blurted out, “When I say I got stomach ache everyday you think I’m pretending but I’m not pretending! You know!” And I remember one night while I was chatting with my Man before settling down to the bed, he even told me to stop talking with a funniest reason that, “Mummy, stop talking! My stomach can’t take your voice! The voice get(s) into my stomach and it’s so painful!”

You think our peace has completely returned? Nope! He still complains about stomach ache every now and then though it has been more than one month since he was discharged. I wish very soon that he could be his normal self who enjoys milk and never fears to go to toilet for making poo poo!

Be a real self or be a good example?

Being a mother, there are lots of times I can’t be my real self.

For instance, I can’t be my real self when my son is feeling left out when no other children want to play with him or when nobody wants to share their toys with him.

“Why I always share but they don’t!” He is almost 4, he has started feeling the world sometimes just seems unfair to him. He can express himself very well that, “They hurt my feeling!” whenever he feels sad. He holds the tears back as if he remembers the remark which we have been saying thousands times to him: Crying won’t help.

The evil inside me is saying that, “Then just don’t share your toys with them, teach them a lesson so they will share with you next time!” An eye for an eye, I hear what my real self is saying, just teach him that. But instead of saying it out, I end up muttering to him what my ears can't believe myself, “It’s ok that they don’t share. How would you if feel if someone takes your toys away when you are not ready to share? Now just find other toys to play with...”

Arghhhh, I have to teach him whatever is not what I’m thinking. There are lots of times...
When someone is bullying him I want to say “Go fight back!” But I don’t.
When I’m panicking I have to pretend to be steady and calm.
When I want to let out my real feeling like stressed, anger or any other negative feelings, I don’t and I just suppress them.

Because I’m a mother; I must hide the evil side of me from being seen (or learnt) by my son. He’s watching me; he’s just like a piece of mirror which reflects myself and I wish there could be a reflection of a beautiful Me instead of an ugly Me when I look into the mirror.

What kids can do with thier Bogie?

When we found this out last night, we just could not help laughing.

Me: Whose birthday was that? (Referring to the goody bag he brought home from school in the afternoon)

My Boy: Karvinash!

Me: Is he your good friend?

My Boy: No! He ALWAYS pick(s) his nose and give(s) his bogie to me! I don’t want to sit with him!

OMG! Can you imagine if it was filmed as Funniest Home Video! Anyway, to find out more about the boy's behaviour, I continued as below:

Me: Does he do that to anyone else? Does he do that to Azra (My boy’s best friend)

My Boy: No, Azra('s) sitting away (from the boy)

Me: I think I need to tell your teacher...

My Boy: No! Don’t tell my teacher about it!

Daddy: Why you don’t want to let your teacher know?

My Boy: Because they will laugh at me!

Ha! We definitely will not tell the teacher about it since it’s only a wee matter that there’s no point making a fuss about!

Just Sleepy

It’s very hot recently; the scorching afternoon sun makes people drift off to sleep
easily, what more a pregnant woman can do in these hot days- sleep as much as she
can and become lazier than before! Nobody will shake head to disapprove her! She’s pregnant mar, she has the right to do so, you know after another 7 months, she will
have double hard job to deal with, because she will be a mother of two- a mother
to a 4 year old boy and a mother to a newborn baby (sex unknown yet). If you are a
mother, u know very soon that she will lose (again) her quiet and peaceful sleeping
nights which she has just resumed not long ago.

So let her sleep as much as she can in this hot afternoon again.

Kite Flying

What did we do last Sunday? We went for kite flying! Sound great?

Few months back, when we were strolling along the butterfly park at BBT (you know where it is if you are Klg local), only very few children with their parents were there flying kites.

But now, the park has become so busy. Besides the joggers on the jogging track and the children at the playground, there are lots of people flying kites in the field. In addition, there are two stalls selling kites along the roadside at the park. All kites are hung up waiting to be chosen by those excited children accompanied by their parents. The children’s eyes are sparked with happiness and their hearts are thumped with excitement while they are choosing their favorite’s kite.

The prices of kites ranged from RM15-25, depending on their size and the complexity of their colors. The guys who sell the kites definitely have earned very good money from this business.

When has this kite flying activity become so popular at BBT area? I wonder.
Anyway just look up in the weekend evening sky at BBT and let the great sight of hundreds kites high up in the sky amaze you!

And who knows you will spot my little boy flying kite in the field!

Merely a Pregnancy Diary- Brownish Discharge and Cyst

March 18th
I had a pregnancy test on my urine at home. It showed a positive result as expected because it had been planned. Since it was my second pregnancy, we didn’t rush to confirm with the doctor until I discovered some brownish discharge on my panties, which I had not experienced during my first pregnancy.

April 4th
I suggested going to a local delivery centre in Klg first instead of SJMC where my first child delivery took place.

I had an ultrasound scanning. I was given a jab to prevent miscarriage. It was a hormonal jab to strengthen the uterus. I was also prescribed a week of hormone pills and asked to go on the 2nd check up in a week’s time.

April 11th
We were shocked to be told that there was a 6 X 7 cm fluid filled cyst in my uterus. Why had it not been detected during the first ultrasound just one week ago? The question came in my mind only when we got home. We had not asked the doctor. Without any knowledge of what exactly it was, our brain was so blank and didn’t know what to ask. We were told that the removal of the cyst was not necessary at this point of time and it just needed to be monitored.

According to the doctor:-
1. If it enlarges, it needs to be removed within 14-16 weeks of pregnancy to reduce risk of miscarriage or
2. It can be removed during the delivery itself or
3. No removal will be needed at all as it might reduce itself.

Was the information given clear enough? It was definitely not.
1. What kind of operation is to be performed if it is to be removed during the pregnancy? What if the cyst enlarges after 14-16 weeks, which means the appropriate time to get it removed has been missed?
2. How big of it is considered safe to let the cyst stay in the uterus until the delivery?
3. Would it be ok to let a reduced size of cyst stay in my uterus forever if it is not removed after the pregnancy?

I wish I had asked the doctor the questions I have listed above. We had been so anxious until we googled online and found that the cyst is benign.

Anyway, My Man insists that we go to SJMC for a second opinion. So it is going to be the 3rd check up for my second pregnancy. We will know what to ask then.

To be continued...

Wiser Me

The older you get the wiser you are! And I really think I'm! I’m one year older today. Should I list down what I have possessed in my whole life so far? Nope, it won’t make any meaning to a 31-year-old, because I learn that life is about how many things you have let go instead of how many things (material) you have accumulated. That’s it!


Off course, if I were to mark down the life achievement, here "he" is!

The Little Boy @ 2 Mth Old

@ 2 yrs and 6 mth old

@ 3 yrs old


And now ( 3 years and 8 months old) who is able to take a picture of himself!

"Won't you sing me a birthday song, my dear?"

He sounds like a Man!

It all happened at the same night. I just suddenly realized my Little Boy has grown up to be more emphathetic now!

Scene 1:
Mummy was complaining that Daddy shouldn’t have colored the picture that the Little Boy had drawn; she said that ruined the original work of the Little Boy. The Little Boy looked at his Mummy with sympathy and said, “That’s ok Mummy! That’s ok! Don’t worry! I will draw another one for you tomorrow!”
(P/S: A picture of the family flying kites together. The green patch was his daddy’s spoiling job to the picture!)

Scene 2:
When mummy was puking out badly in the bathroom, a little hand patted on her back. Needless to turn her back around she knew that was the Little Boy’s hand. “Mummy, is that better?” The Little Boy asked if the pat on the back helped ease the nausea. Mummy replied yes and out of surprise, he said, “I think you need lots of rest!”

He sounds like a Man indeed! He has taken over his Daddy duty soothing his Mummy’s second pregnancy.

Teaching Science and Mathematics in English

The policy of teaching Science and Mathematics in English has been a great dispute since it started implementation 6 years back! The issue has flared up tremendously recently when more than 5000 people demonstrated on the street of KL, protesting against this policy being used in our school system.

Whether this implementation should be abolished or kept, I don’t have any great point of views to debate like a professional. Should you be interested to view the debates, you might like to check out from this website. Below is just a voice from a very simple housewife like me who hopes the best for her own son.

Well, being a Chinese-ed myself, I had struggled that whether to speak English or Mandarin with my child before he was born. (Of course as you know that we ended up speaking merely English with him.) I had this struggle due to the fact that I don’t have a good command in English. I was afraid that speaking English to him would be just like blind leading blind.

What concerned me was should a parent with poor command of English speak English with his/her children? Would people say something like this behind me “Don’t know how to speak English also want to speak with her son!” In case you don’t know, yes, I’m very self conscious one! I don’t join most of the gatherings of my husband (a banana) and his friends, because I don’t speak as fluent as them. In short, being not able to communicate well in English I have become very low self esteem!

Back to the point, at last I decided to speak with my son in English recognizing that I had to improve my own English first! I don’t care if people laugh at me for speaking substandard English with my son as long as he’s exposed to English speaking environment at the young age. I just can’t risk him being conscious about his lack of English proficiency when he grows up, which might affect his self-esteem! I don’t wish to see him fumbling out for words and getting nervous when he has to speak to people who speak English or maybe worse to the extend that pees on his pants because of being too nervous! And most importantly I don’t wish him to get any discrimination from any other people as what has happened to me! I received a bad treatment from one of a Whiteman stewards during my flight to UK with British Airline few years back just because I kept saying “Pardon” to him hoping to know what he was talking about!

All those extremists against the use of English in the teaching of science and mathematics please stop arguing against the use of it, the world has told you the truth unless your eyes are still shut and your heart is still unopened! All the housewives (even from the rural areas) know that by teaching Science and Math in English our children will have at least more chances to expose to English (though the policy may not help to improve our English standard itself), and English is the only language which equips our children into this competitive world. Moreover, it’s a very common phenomenon where a lot of English speaking children are being sent to Chinese school which means our children are facing a more challenging world in a trilingual-based future.

At last, I know I don’t represent any housewife to speak up as clearly as I know that the 5000 people can’t represent any of us. I think the government would be wise enough to make a decision which is most urged by the parents who really care about the future (both in academia and professional world) for their children!

What do you think and do you have anything want to share about this issue?

Pretty Aunty

" Everyone is pretty on their own way" ...

... so do you know that an ordinary aunty can be pretty too har?

I don’t want to deny the fact that there are some friends who really piss me off when they say, “You are an aunty (=housewife) mar, you got so much time at home.” They always call from their busy offices and assume that I’m not as busy as them! As for me you are just “a-working-aunty” in the office! You do gossiping and bitching about everybody else when you are free! Don’t you? Moreover, you bore your colleagues to tears with the repeated story about your precious children too!

Oh friends! You know what! I might be an aunty who has lost the beauty in your eyes but my Little Precious might not agree with what you think of me. He always tells me that I’m so pretty! There was one night when we were settling down for the night...he said it again...

Little Boy: Mummy you are so pretty! (Believe me! He says that almost everyday!)

Mummy: Oh! Why you always say that?

Little Boy: Because you are pretty everyday!

Oh, how sweet he is!